Neglectful

I know I have neglected this blog a fair bit recently. I have been updating my deviantart for those of you who want to know more about me.

I have been incredibly sad, so I tried a new method of fixing myself. I just pretended I was fine. I aced happy and ignored the sad. Ubfortunately I have now got a sadness lurking inside me. I can feel it in the back of my heart and mind. I hate this more than my sadness. So now I am stuck again.

I want to write about what I feel, but there are no words for it.

My hair is purple.
Not all over.


I don't know why I am here.
I guess I just hope he will read it and know that I am sorry.

Blogging under the influence

I'm pissed, can you tell?

If my writing is shit that's why.

I like vodka. It tastes nice.

and makes me feel good.

I don't know what to write, but I wanted to. Now I am stuck here thinking of things to say. It's hard because I am pissed and being pissed screws with your head.

I am going to regret this blog, I am sure. What with the poor english and the horrible honesty.

I'm off to get another drink.

Okay. So I am now so drunk my teeth are numb. Sounds weird, but there you go.

I miss Matt adn the way we used to talk. Although tonight s good, it used to be constant and that rocked.

I love Jay lots, but I don't want him to leave me. I think he will because we're not like other couples. We aren't constantly near each other and we don't base everything on our sex lives. I am sad that we're not, but I think he likes it. I don't want him to know how insecure I am.

RAH!!! I AM A LION!!!!

Holiday

My family is on holiday in Sydney, so I am home alone for ten days. HECK YES! Party much?

Not a whole lot has been happening. My mood is up and down so bad that I don't even know who I am half the time. That's awesome.

I don't really know. Just letting you know I'm alive.

Blogger

I have officially become a blogger. It makes me sad that my notebooks lie there on my desk neglected while this internet sensation is getting unwanted attention. I just don't write things down as much anymore, which leads me to have many mixed feelings about a lot of things. I used writing to sort myself out and now I am stuck here, writing to no one, complaining that I have become part of the electronic revolution.

By the way, Happy New Year.

My camera broke. The zoom is fucked and now it won't take photos. That also makes me sad.


I don't really know what to write here anymore, as I don't know anyone who reads this. If I knew someone who read this then I would probably write more often and possibly more interesting things for them. Please make yourself known, mystery readers!!

Ever since Rohan killed himself, I've had dreams of people commiting suicide. All my friends. The people who I care about. I don't know what all this means, but I realised that the majority of my friends have probably tried to, or at the very least got close to doing it.
I want to help them all, but I don't know what to do.



Ashlee doesn't like me anymore. Not the same way she used to. She's best friends with Bec now. I know I shouldn't really care, but she was my first real friend in a long time and now I feel like she's ditched me. Ditched me for another even more competitively fucked up girl. I feel like running at Bec and screaming "GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER! SHE WAS MY FRIEND FIRST!!"
That would be a little too crazy, though.
I am left to hope that Ashlee will at least stay my friend, and maybe start hating Bec. Fingers crossed.

Anyway, I honestly have nothing else.

Much love,
Louie