Fuck

This is getting really hard for me. Like, really hard. I am so stressed and angry and sad and FAT.

I went around and looked at pro-anorexia sites today, as I sometimes do in the hopes that they'll help me stop being a fatty. It didn't work. All it's done is make me hungry. I want to be as thin as some of the girls I see there, but I just can't stop myself from eating again. Stupid fucking medication.

Oh yeah, that's another thing. I haven't taken my meds in ages just in case they help me get sad enough that I stop eating again. I know I shouldn't, but I have to be skinny. I can't keep looking like this. I just can't.


The thing is, I want help. I just can't help myself.