Fuck off.

I feel like shit.
I am shit.
I want to die.
I really do.
But
(there is always a but)
I don't want to hurt anyone.
Because I know what it feels like
That's why I want to die.
I don't want to kill myself
Just to have someone else do it.
Because I know Jay cares
and even if he's the only I would make sad
by killing myself
That'd be worse than what I have to go through now.
So now I am stuck here.
I have to live through all this
all over again.
You have no idea.
I don't care who you are.
There is no way you could possibly know how I feel.
I mean, what could have happened to you to make you feel shit?
Try multiplying that by your lifetime.
And then adding the inability to communicate.
And maybe you'll have some understanding.
I mean, you may feel shit.
You may have some problem.
But right now I am selfish.
So fuck you.



You know what's worse?
I am too pathetic to even die.
I just hang around
bothering everyone else
for the sake of the person who I love.
The person who has saved me
more than he should have to.





I hate this.
I hate feeling like this.
I hate being this way.














My GOD!
Why do I suck so much?














You know what?
I think I might do it.
I don't know what you guys will do.
But I might just stop being a pussy
and do it.











I'll get those pills.
I don't care about cliche.
I'll swallow them all
I'll lie down
and be peaceful.
Forever.