fatty boombah

I AM DRUNK
But I am not supposed to be.
I stole mum's vodka.
Because I am cool like that.
And I am sad.
Everyone has left me alone.
I feel abandoned.
How lame am I?
Very.

So...

Yeah. Hey depression! How are you today? Hiding? Well, that's nice of you!

I feel better. He doesn't hate me. I like that. I love it.


Yeah. Thought I'd let you guys know that I'm not dead. At least I'm not a complete fucktard, hey?

Don't Leave Me!!

Please don't leave me. I will do anything. Anything at all. Just don't go. PLEASE DON'T GO! I need you. I love you. There is no one as perfect as you. Without you I am nothing. Please stay. Don't leave me alone. I don't know what to do without you. I can't live. PLEASE!! Don't run away. You're everything to me. You're my life. You're my soul. My hear is in your hands, don't let it go. Don't tear it apart. Keep it safe. Love it. LOVE ME!!





I am sorry.

I hate you.

Life's not worth living.
Not without him.
So come and save me.
Tell me what's right.
Because without it I am lost.
Without him I am no one.














There's no way to explain what I feel right now. No words to describe it.
I am empty.
Lost.
Lonely.
Sad.
Crying.
Dead.

Don't think I care anymore. I don't. I don't care about anything. Not while he hates me.

I still suck

I can't stop crying. How lame is that? Fuck me I am a dick head. I want to kill myself. I don't want anyone to feel like this. I don't want to move. I don't see the point. PLease help me. PLease. I don't know what to do. I am frantic. There are too many thoughts. What if Jay leaves me? What if he doens't actually stay at Ben's and he stays at Gabby's? What if she likes him? What if anyone else likes him? I'm not good enough to keep him around. I cna't stop thinking. I need help. Why won't you help? No one helps. PLease help. I am scared. I don't want to be alone. I don't want him to hate me. I want to cut. But I don't want to dissapoint Jay. Fuck shit crap cunt. What do I do? help me! PLEASE GOD HELP ME!!

Vutty mc cut cut

Yeah. I suck.
I didn't cut. I am a good girl.
There is a girl I know.
Her name is Brooke.
She got dumped by text.
She cut her arms up pretty good.
WEll, by pretty good
I mean shit.
They weren't proper cuts.
Just enough to bleed.
But it made me want to go back.
Everytime I saw them I couldn't help but stare.
I wanted that.
I wanted the blood
The pain
The beautiful numbness.
I miss it.
I miss it so much.
I wish I didn't.
I wish I was better than this.
But I'm not
And I want it.

Not only that
I want to be able to do what she did.
Not care.
I mean, she wore a jumper,
but it was small
and she didn't care who saw them.
Attention seeking, perhaps,
but I was jealous.
I wanted to be that.
I wanted to be her.
I wanted to cut myself open
and let the world see.
Not for attention,
but so that I don't have to be ashamed.
One day I will be able to wear shorts.
I'll go in the pool without boardies.
I will be free.
Free and happy.

Shut up.

I suck.
I am depressed.
I do not care to do anything about it.
So shut up and fuck off.
Because I'm not worth it.