Vutty mc cut cut

Yeah. I suck.
I didn't cut. I am a good girl.
There is a girl I know.
Her name is Brooke.
She got dumped by text.
She cut her arms up pretty good.
WEll, by pretty good
I mean shit.
They weren't proper cuts.
Just enough to bleed.
But it made me want to go back.
Everytime I saw them I couldn't help but stare.
I wanted that.
I wanted the blood
The pain
The beautiful numbness.
I miss it.
I miss it so much.
I wish I didn't.
I wish I was better than this.
But I'm not
And I want it.

Not only that
I want to be able to do what she did.
Not care.
I mean, she wore a jumper,
but it was small
and she didn't care who saw them.
Attention seeking, perhaps,
but I was jealous.
I wanted to be that.
I wanted to be her.
I wanted to cut myself open
and let the world see.
Not for attention,
but so that I don't have to be ashamed.
One day I will be able to wear shorts.
I'll go in the pool without boardies.
I will be free.
Free and happy.