I still suck

I can't stop crying. How lame is that? Fuck me I am a dick head. I want to kill myself. I don't want anyone to feel like this. I don't want to move. I don't see the point. PLease help me. PLease. I don't know what to do. I am frantic. There are too many thoughts. What if Jay leaves me? What if he doens't actually stay at Ben's and he stays at Gabby's? What if she likes him? What if anyone else likes him? I'm not good enough to keep him around. I cna't stop thinking. I need help. Why won't you help? No one helps. PLease help. I am scared. I don't want to be alone. I don't want him to hate me. I want to cut. But I don't want to dissapoint Jay. Fuck shit crap cunt. What do I do? help me! PLEASE GOD HELP ME!!