I need him back.

I really need Matt to come back. I'm going insane without him. The time difference was hard enough already, without him being on the other side of the world.

Yeah, my perfect year is getting off to a bad start. Everything is my fault again. I'm a selfish cow again. I can't do anything right again. I don't think they notice how much damage they can do.

Fuck me. I always sound like a whiney bitch. Can't I just be normal for once? Can't I be happy? Can't I fucking live easily? For fuck's sake.

God fucking damnit.

The dog is being put down, at last. Thank god for that. I hate it. The dog, that is.

God fucking damn you, Matt.

At least he's alive. That's good. Very good.

Don't know how things are going with Ashley. He's on holidays until Thursday or something. Hopefully I'll be able to call him tonight. Ken says I must really like him. Apparently I act different around him. Also, my giggle shits Ken to tears.

Hmm... Going to Bendigo with the family on Thusday. If Ashley's back in time I'll ditch them for him. Ken can come too.

Thinking about you
thinking about you.
Think about
just you and me
la da di dee
ain't no place I'd rather be.

I really gotta work on that band. It'd be fun. Provided everyone is willing to do the songs I want to. =D






I found a bunch of stuff from Simon the other day. When I was cleaning my room. It took all my power not to read the hundreds of letters. I threw them all out. It was surprisingly hard. I mean, I'd never read these ones before. I know where they all are. I know I can go out and read them, but I'm forcing myself not to. It's really hard. I never thought it would be. I think it's due to curiosity more than anything else. I don't know. Where's Matt?





I'm going to save the world. I'm going to take everyone's grief, sorrow, despair, sadness, anger, rage, fury, boredom, nothingness and all other horrible feelings. I'll take them all and put them on the people who deserve it. People like mum's parents. People like George Bush. People that hurt others. I'll take all their happiness and enjoyment and share it out between all the good people. I'm going to save the world.