Fuck me I'm stupid.

So. Really long time no see.

I didn't have internet and then I couldn't be bothered. What can I say? I'm lazy.

So, what's been happening?

I had a boyfriend who I liked (Sam) who then cheated on me with my friend (Lily) so now I don't talk to either of them.
I now have a wonderful boyfriend named Jay. We've been goign out for a year and a few months now.


I need to keep saying why I love Jay. Because he's perfect.. Because he loves me. He hasn't dumped me. He hasn't cheated on me. He hasn't spread rumours about me. He's good looking. He's funny. He's smarter than he thinks. He's good at comforting me. He's good at being there for me. He is loyal, to me and his friends. He is amazingly good in bed. He cares about me. He does what he can to help me. He doesn't judge me. He makes me feel amazing. He doesn't hurt me. He never has. He thinks about me. he lets me fuss over him. He lets me love him.
Gosh. He really is amazing isn't he?


I don't really know what to write about. I didn't write in this for so long that I have lost the blogging touch.



I've been thinking about cutting again. I haven't done it, but god do I want to. It would be lovely. I seem to only remember the pretty of it. I only remember the beauty. The fantastic feeling I got. The amazing feeling of independance. Knowing that I don't need other people to validate my existence.Unfortunately I did need a multitude of sharp objects.

Now I feel down when people don't seem to be devoting every second of their life to me. I hate myself. God I suck.




Alright. This is the end. I'm hurting myself.